Week 4 Stressed and Unstressed Syllables

In the 4^th week, we were asked to take our 3^rd week’s assignment (stable verse to unstable chorus) and analyze it based on the stressed and unstressed syllables of everyday speech. Then we had to set it to music or speak it over a rhythm loop provided, ensuring the important stressed words are placed most often on the stressed beats of the bar. The video lectures only analyzed 4/4 time with respect to stress beats.

I did my own music.  Although technically my song is in 6/8 time, I analyzed every 2 bars of 6/8 as 1 bar of 4/4 because I did not want to confuse my evaluators with a compound rhythm.  Evaluations in this course have been inconsistent and occasionally frustrating.  With 65,000 course participants world-wide, there are many with no music experience, no songwriting experience and some with little or no English!  I decided to give my evaluators as much help as possible.

Below is the verse/chorus analyzed using   / for stressed syllables and   –  for unstressed.   I included the beat number of the bar under the lyrics so that the evaluator can see most of the important words come on stress beats 1 and 3, in 4/4 time, just like we learned in the lectures.

 

Here's the coundcloud link.

http://snd.sc/ZmgBdj

 

Verse 2 (stable)

 ​  -      /        -     /     -    /    -      /
She likes the singing  silver  sound

        1     2       3      4   1     2  3      4

-      -      /             -      -     /     -     /    -      /
Of  the spoon when he stirs his coffee round
             1        2                3   4      1    2    3       4

-        /          /        /         -      /     -      -       /
He drinks dark roast with honey and cream
       1           2     3      4        1       2          3        4

 -        -        /    -           /                 -    -  -      /
And she’s almost      sure          this is a dream
                  1      2 34   1 234123      4           1  2  3 4 1 2 3 4

 

 Chorus  (unstable)

-      -       /    -    -      /      -  -    /   -  -
He has candle-lit  eyes of experience
             1            2   3   4         1            234

-       -     /         -        /         /     -  /  -
But his eyes, they don’t say forever
              1     2         3         4       1      2

 -        /          -         -    /    -
But when they're together
         3                        4

 /        -       -     /     -    -    /
Somehow he senses she lives
1              2      3         4    1 2 3 4 1 2

-       /       -       /     -      /   -
She lives in   present tenses
        3         4               1       2   3 4 1234 1234

 

 

Week 3 Creating Stability and Instability Using Rhyme

This week we were asked to create stability and instability, primarily using rhyme and subject matter.  We had to write a stable verse to an unstable chorus. 

The Assignment

I got a gem on the way here ... still needs work.  I have a rough demo of the song at

http://snd.sc/ZmgBdj

The bolded section represents the assignment.

She Lives In Present Tenses

Verse 1
The hour is late and the dinner done
Cappuccino dusted with cinnamon
Romance spun from gypsy violins
And she wonders if he’ll ask her home with him

Verse 2 (stable)
She likes the singing silver sound
Of the spoon when he stirs his coffee round
He drinks dark roast with honey and cream
And she’s almost sure this is a dream


Chorus 1 (unstable)
He has candle-lit eyes of experience
But his eyes, they don’t say forever
But when they're together
Somehow he senses she lives
She lives in present tenses

Verse 3
Midnight walk along a river
All consumed by kisses and quivers
She feels so wonderful
When he tells her
He tells her she’s beautiful

Chorus 2
He has moon-lit eyes of experience
But his eyes, they don’t say forever
But when they're together
Somehow he senses she lives
She lives in present tenses

Comments on rhyming

I love rhyme.  I'm so happy when I'm rhyming - within a line, end of line and most especially across lines. For me, rhyme cannot sound forced. It has to roll by easy or I scrap it. This could be why my discography is so small, given the years I've been doing this!

About 20 years ago, I did 2 advanced songwriting weekend workshops through SAC - one with Gary Fjellgaard and one with Roy Forbes.  Roy was at both workshops, so he got to know my writing fairly well.  He made a comment which I took as neither a criticism nor a compliment but merely an observation.  She said he would recognize one of my songs on the radio no matter who covered it, because of how I rhymed.  He said I had a unique penchant to extend a rhyme, and to use consonants at the beginning of the word to create a rhyme feel. It was wonderful to have someone notice what I was doing!

In this assignment,  in the 1st verse, I'm playing with the short "u" sound ... a bit in  hour .. then done, uccino, amon, spun, wonders ...  Then I got into the "h" sound in the last line .. he'll, her, home, him.

An earlier draft of the above chorus went

It's the restlessness that she likes best
In eyes that don’t say forever

I still really like that extended "es" rhyme but "restlessness"  just doesn't sing well and I ran out of time to come up with something better than what I have.

In the 2nd verse, I got into illiteration with the"s" sound  throughout ... the hard "c" in coffee/cream ... the "d" in drinks/dark  ...and of course my favourite,  the  rhyme across lines with roast/almost.  I think of that as my signature rhyme and I try to do it at least once in every song.


Ok, I know I'm a bit twisted.   I'm 51 yrs old and I really have no more I feel I need to say to the world. In my younger years I wrote songs from my own emotional response to what was happening in my life.  Now, I just like to play with the sounds of words, melodies and chords, and I will make up any story to fit with the feel of the sounds I want.

Rhyming is my most favourite thing to do.  Anyone else feel like me?

Week 2: Creating Stability and Instability Through Line Length

This week we were asked to write a verse creating instability followed by a chorus creating stability, using line lengths.

Inspired by North Easton's commitment, I did write a song this week,  but it's not winning any awards!  However, I did come up with a few lines and melody fragments I might use elsewhere.

Michael Holland's week 1 blog set me off on this assignment. He wrote about Sinatra and the song "Polkadots and Moonbeams" by Jimmy Van Heusen and Johny Burke.  I've always admired this writing ... something about the way they put a pug-nosed girl at the centre of a beautiful love song.  I also liked the way they put conversation into a song (eg. I felt a bump and heard an "oh, beg your pardon"). Years ago, I took this song as a model and tried to write a new, longer lyric based on the same rhythmic structure, but I was unable to put music to it because I kept hearing the original song.

I pulled it out of my "dead" file, changed the verse line lengths as per the exercise, and added a chorus (the original didn't have one). Total re-write, really.

My verse ideas ...  guy frequents a diner because he is attracted to the waitress but hasn't yet worked up the courage to ask her out. Why? Because he is so much older than she is.  He's looking for a long-term relationship. She likes him and and wonders if he'll ever ask her out. Lots of uncertainty there, suitable for instability. Here is the uncertainty of new love.

For the stable chorus  I chose the "Certainty of Long Love" - the stability that comes in a relationship that has weathered time.  I had some fun using Pat's comments on what a stable chorus should do as analogies in  my lyric.  I also experimented with use of rhyme to add to the instability/stability, using perfect end phrase rhymes for the chorus and imperfect rhymes for the verses.

Here's what I came up with, the bolded sections being the actual assignment submission.

Certainty of Long Love

VS.1 (stable)

She hands a menu to a lone evening diner

He makes a choice and as he closes the wine list

Looks in her eyes, does she know how he wants her?

Uncertainty, that new love brings

 VS. 2 (unstable)

Shaking she pours, he feels a splash on his coat sleeve

Blushing she smiles, and sighs “I’m so sorry”

Perhaps tonight he’ll ask her to join him

CH. 1 (stable, with title highlighting)

Oh there’s nothing like the joy of a love that’s tested time

Like an old familiar melody that rings in perfect rhyme

No guessing or confusion

No blinding of illusion

Like a grounding chord in solid four

It gives us what we’re longing for, the certainty of long love

VS.3 (unstable)

Behind the bar she comes and leans on my shoulder

She says, “He’s handsome, but oh – so much older

What does he see when he’s looking at me?”

VS. 4 (stable)

He stayed 'til closing and he helped with her jacket
Her name and number on a card in his pocket
Uncertainty turning to certainty
The certainty long love brings

CH.2 (stable, with title highlighting)

Oh there’s nothing like the joy of a love that’s tested time

Like an old familiar melody that rings in perfect rhyme

No guessing or confusion

No blinding of illusion

Like a grounding chord in solid four

It gives us what we’re longing for, the certainty of long love
Like a grounding chord in solid four

It gives us what we’re longing for, the certainty of long love

Week 1 First Assignment

I Had Fun!

What Title ...
I chose the Two Story House. I liked the idea of 2 stories associated with a house.   I didn't try to write the complete song ... I'll leave that for another day. 

I often write from a title, so I didn't have too much trouble with this exercise.  I'm stronger on words than music.  When it comes to writing melody, I struggle, which is why I co-write on the music.

My first attempt had such a sad ending - the guy's wife left him and the bank foreclosed and took the house ... I had to re-write it to keep the family together, and have him sell the house instead.




Comments on Pat and the Course ...
I love Pat's storytelling approach.  We all do because we're songwriters are we're suckers for a good story.

The deadline pressure is necessary and I'm grateful for it.  It's in our nature, as creative people, to  procrastinate.

Being able to go back and make a change AFTER submitting the assignment, now that's sheer genius on Pat's part.  Don't we all get that really great idea the day after we "finish" something?

Seeing the note from Pat on the coursera site re: the "point of view" quiz was very cool.  It make me realize that he is still there, monitoring. He didn't just do the videos and leave us alone.  There must be hundreds or thousands doing this course right now and he can't talk to us individually, but he is trying to keep the personal connection.

Coursera's technical stewardship is excellent and I will definitely consider more courses through them.

It doesn't seem to matter how many times I've gone over this material, each time I sit down to read a new book or take a course it all becomes fresh again and there are new insights gained.


Comments on SAC's Facebook Platform ....
I find the facebook group to be far even more useful than the actual songwriting course.  This is an excellent way for SAC to add value to what it gives members for their membership fee, especially members who do not live in an urban center and cannot attend the workshops.
 
The blogging is a good way to deal with the comments of so many people.  Details get lost on facebook with such a large group. It would be helpful if SAC created a "resources" page that we could all add links to, for example, the page with all the songs and lyrics.

Most of my time this week was spent reading your websites and listening to your work. You've given me lots of ideas!  I've got you all bookmarked and I hope to go back to your sites when the buzz of the course dies down, and get to know you all much better.








 

Week 1 Overview of Songwriting Activity

To answer the questions of where I am on my songwriting journey and what do I hope to achieve from the Berklee course:

• been a part-time singer-songwriter for 25 yrs
• 2 commercial releases
• CBC play and some commercial radio
• won several international songwriting contests
• lots of performing over the years, Western Canada and Ontario
• writes acoustic guitar-centered folk music, with jazz and classical inspirations
• am taking most of a year off beginning in June to re-energize and devote myself to art, so am looking for songwriting collaborations to broaden the styles in my catalog
• also doing creative writing -  just finished a lyric ballad, a short story all told in rhyme, which is about 4000 words and was a blast to write - plan to put music behind it and record me reading it as a self-published an audio book

Here's a link to a youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hVzhywgApw

Here's a link to the lyric and sound clip of the song that won some awards

 http://larkspurmusic.com/rubber-galoshes-lyric.shtml

 Here's my website where you can hear song clips and read lyrics. 

 

www.larkspurmusic.com